Saturday, January 12, 2013

{keep quiet, and leave}

HELLO MY HUGE FAN GROUP OF READERS WHO READ THIS BLOG. WELL. ONLY IN MY DELUSIONAL HEAD THAT IS. THIS IS OVERDUE BUT.....

MERRY CHRISTMAS!HAPPY NEW YEAR!& HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

Okay, now that's out of the way. Sorry, it's been... well I have no excuses I just haven't felt like blogging. Nothing really exciting's been happening. It's just assignment after assignment after assignment. Ugh. So tired of all of it): I did turn 20 but it wasn't a really big celebration or anything. Had some surprises and gifts, also lovely presents for Christmas so thank you everybody. <3 It just hasn't been a very festive year end. I hope your year end festivities went better and 2013 started on a good note for you all!

Who am I kidding, no one reads this except me. -.-

In any case, I just wanted to give a hollaholla over here and say that I ain't dead. I have things to say about the many things I've been thinking about over the past few weeks, so many changes to make, so many decisions and choices and I'm just kinda sick of growing up. I just want to lock myself in a room with a mini fridge full of alcohol & sustenance and write shitty songs about how the world owes me because... it just does. Hah. Okay, no. I want to say so many things but I haven't really figured out what yet. So excuse me if my thoughts just keep going in no particular direction.

2012 wasn't the best year in terms of me making a change and doing something about myself, and I think the past few years just went by without me taking much responsibility or initiative. Honestly, I'm kind of sick of the fact that I am sitting here waiting for the world to do something for me when I'm the one who's in charge of me. I'm sick of trying to find comfort and warmth in material things. That's all fine and dandy now and then (because everyone knows I have always been materialistic and I love material things I won't deny it AT ALL), but now it's just bad.

I'm tired of saying I want to do something and then not doing it, of having many brilliant ideas but never getting them out. Of having a bloody good song idea in my head at 4am but choosing to sleep instead. I mean seriously Sarah, what the fuck? And all that moaning about everyone else's great opportunities? Um, why don't you go out and look for some then?!

I've been going into a state of static for quite a while now. And I know now that no one's going to be the one to set me off again except me. Life wasn't meant to be comfortable, is it? This is not the first time that I've had the thought to wake up and just get going. But I swear to anyone reading this that I will make a change.

2013 will be a better year. You know why? Because I'm actually going to do something about it.

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