Monday, October 15, 2012


School starts in approximately 5 hours. What the hell am I still doing up?! Can't believe I survived ITP relatively unscathed, though still paycheck-less. *glares* Here I am, doing practise SAT questions because I got distracted while Uni researching. So far, so good though, on the questions.

It's really just the last stretch of Poly left. One more semester, and then I have to decide where to go, what to do with my life. I didn't realize there were so many things I had to take into account until I sat down and really thought about it. I kept putting off those thoughts because I really don't want to face leaving Poly and growing up. I honestly can still remember the day I went for Orientation at IJ sec. Up that hill at the holding campus, to that old hall. Being segregated-ish from the Express students. I guess I always knew I'd get to this point in my life but never really wanted to face the reality.

I still feel like that same nervous little girl. Wouldn't being almost 20 grant me absolute self-assurance and maturity? When I was 13, 20 year olds seemed like untouchable confident godlike creature and now I'm almost 20 and I still feel awkward and scared. So many things have changed and yet everything feels the same.

Well, no, not quite.

Why can't I be 10 again, when my greatest worry was planning my wedding to Nick Carter, while dancing to Backstreet Boys in my bedroom?

There's 2% energy left, both in my mac and in my own energy levels, so I guess I'll stop here and go to bed. On a happier note, so so so excited to see everybody in school tomorrow!!!!  Goodnight world! xx

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