{giving up}

Sometimes, it's better to give up than to keep trying. Maybe it's just not something you're ever going to be good at, or even just not meant to be. I just wanted to be a friend, but I guess I'm not wanted. The number of times I tried has probably already crossed over into pathetic. What's even more pathetic is that I don't want to give up. Maybe I'm just desperate. But I wanted to be something more.

So hello, my non-existent readers. I'm not going to spam pictures today because... we all get sick of this face, right? Haha! Currently stuck at home alone, eating bread & water and attempting to use google translate to shop via Taobao. God I almost regret not learning Chinese properly (Yes, RJ, I know you're gonna tell me to start NOW). Almost being the keyword here ah!

I am having the worst bout of food poisonings to end all food poisonings. Okay la, exaggerate a bit k! But seriously, yesterday was filled with never ending diarrhea, perpetual nausea and these mother painful cramps that come every 15 minutes. Or every time I go from standing to sitting etc etc. Seriously, I would rather have those period cramps which is more of a dull ache. This is a sharp pain that feels like lightning zinging from my stomach to well.. down there.

According to the doctor, my intestines are spasming to push all the crap in my digestive system out. Seriously. That's what he said. Scared the crap outta me.

So tonight, I'm better. The diarrhea isn't so often (aka only 5 times today so far), very little nausea and the cramps stopped half way through the day. Thank the Lord, the cramps were the worst!!! But they've been replaced by this lingering discomfort in my tummy and I feel my stomach moving and gurgling and shit it's freaky. I can't lie on my tummy): I'm just gonna be living on like, porridge and stuff this week.

I KNOW EVERYONE IS SO SICK OF ME COMPLAINING ABOUT MY SICKNESS ESPECIALLY ON TWITTER BUT I DON'T CARE. nehnehnipoopoo.

So anyway, back to work tomorrow. To my practically meaningless existence at ITP. I don't know whether to be thankful that it's so slack or be depressed that I'm not learning anything. I still find myself thinking about Dolby. Why the hell am I still thinking about Dolby -.- Just two and half weeks left, Sarah. And then back to school. So people! Pls come keep me company k, Resolution at The Central @ Clarke Quay. Just come. Really. There's Gong Cha downstairs. Lol.

So I guess I'll just finish up my tea and get ready for bed. Yes I'm drinking tea. It's the only other damn thing I can drink besides water.

xxxxxxxx

Oh, on a side note, everyone needs to check out Peter Gabriel because he is just frigging awesome and this is one of my favorite love songs. It's not the most typical of love songs but I just like the perspective of it, and the ways the lyrics can be interpreted. It makes me want to be as complete as you see me. I want to be worthy of you.

In your eyes, the light the heat
In your eyes, I am complete
In your eyes, I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes, the resolution of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes, I see the light and the heat
In your eyes, oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light, the heat I see in your eyes